Columbia

On January 28, 1986 I was in Mrs Greeve's 4th period history class. I was 14. I didn't know or care about politics or world events. The only thing I remembered from the news was the name of the president and the eruption of Mt St Helens in 1980.

I had a headache that day and had gone to the school nurse. After an aspirin, some water, and a few minutes of sitting there I got up to return to class. I walked out into the office, which was normally quite busy. This time was very strange. Everyone was sitting/standing perfectly still, like a video that had been paused. No one was talking. Then I heard the tiny radio on one lady's desk that everyone was listening to. It was telling that, just seconds ago, the space shuttle Challenger had exploded on take-off.

I didn't know what to think at the time. When I think about it now, the strangest part was that I felt sad about people I had never met. I didn't understand why I should care about someone I had nothing to do with. Did I really feel sad or was I just reacting to how the adults were reacting? I still don't know. But I do know that was the first time I ever felt like that.

15 years later I was driving to work as I listened to the events of 9/11 unfold. I understood more of what was going on, why everyone acted the way they did, and why I felt the way I felt. It was a loss of innocence (something I didn't expect to feel at 30). I knew that this was, for my generation, what the assasination of John F Kennedy was for my parents' and what Hitler's march accross Europe was for my grandparents'. That was the moment that, for me, will forever define who are the good guys and who are the bad guys.

One young lady sticks out in my mind. All she had to say about 9/11, several times over the following months, was that she was annoyed with everyone going on and on and on about it. That was all that mattered to her- that she felt annoyed, that everyone was bugging her. No sympathy whatsoever for the thousands that died. I understand that she might not have felt what others around her felt, but placing her feeling of annoyance above an attack on her country that resulted in thousands of deaths was an expression of such extreme shallowness and lack of character...I try to avoid generalizing, but anyone with the same priorities does not deserve the country in which they live.

Now, 2 years later, we have the events of February 1, 2003. Another loss of innocence, another loss of life, another moment of national sadness. Good may come of it- just as we learned from Challenger and 9/11 we will learn from this and, hopefully, save lives. But for now we mourn.

And if you feel annoyed or tired of all the coverage, try at least to understand why no one says "i'm bored" at a funeral, even if they are.